How do we lose ourselves?

Cognitive distortions are irrational or biased ways of thinking that can negatively impact one's perception of reality. These thought patterns often reinforce negative emotions and behaviors, leading to increased stress, anxiety, and depression. By recognizing and challenging cognitive distortions, individuals can improve their mental health and overall well-being.

Common cognitive distortions include filtering, polarized thinking, overgeneralization, jumping to conclusions, catastrophizing, personalization, control fallacies, the fallacy of fairness, blaming, should statements, emotional reasoning, the fallacy of change, global labeling, always being right, projection, mind reading, disqualifying the positive, heaven's reward fallacy, magnification and minimization, self-blame, comparison, and the fallacy of control.

Each distortion presents a skewed view of reality, making situations seem worse than they are. Addressing these distortions involves identifying and reframing these negative thought patterns to align more closely with reality. This process can lead to more balanced thinking and improved emotional well-being.

1. Filtering:

    Explanation: This involves focusing solely on the negative aspects of a situation while ignoring any positive aspects.

    Example: You receive mostly positive feedback on a project, but you fixate on a single negative comment, convincing yourself that the entire project was a failure.

2. Polarized Thinking (Black and White Thinking):

    Explanation: Viewing things in absolutes, without recognizing any middle ground or gray areas.

    Example: You see yourself as either a complete success or a total failure. If you're not perfect, then you're a failure.

3. Overgeneralization:

    Explanation: Making a broad conclusion based on a single event or a small piece of evidence.

    Example: After one bad job interview, you think, "I’ll never get a job," assuming all future interviews will also go poorly.

4. Jumping to Conclusions:

    Explanation: Making negative assumptions without evidence to support them.

    Example: You assume your friend is mad at you because they haven't replied to your message, even though they may just be busy.

5. Catastrophizing:

    Explanation: Expecting the worst possible outcome or viewing a situation as far worse than it actually is.

    Example: You have a minor car accident and immediately think, "This is going to ruin my entire week," without considering other possible outcomes.

6. Personalization:

    Explanation: Taking responsibility for events outside of your control or assigning personal blame for something that isn’t entirely your fault.

    Example: You blame yourself for your team losing a game, even though it was a collective effort.

7. Control Fallacies:

    Explanation: Believing that you are either helpless and have no control over your life, or feeling overly responsible for the happiness and success of others.

    Example: You think, "There's nothing I can do to improve my situation," or "It's my job to make sure my partner is always happy."

8. Fallacy of Fairness:

    Explanation: Believing that life should be fair and feeling resentful when things don’t turn out that way.

    Example: You think, "It's not fair that I have to work harder than others to achieve the same results," leading to feelings of resentment.

9. Blaming:

    Explanation: Holding others responsible for your problems or feelings, or blaming yourself for things beyond your control.

    Example: You blame your parents for your career choice, even though you made the decision yourself.

10. Should Statements:

     Explanation: Using "should" or "shouldn't" statements to impose unrealistic standards on yourself or others.

     Example: You think, "I should always be happy and never feel sad," leading to guilt and frustration when you experience normal emotions.

11. Emotional Reasoning:

     Explanation: Assuming that your negative emotions reflect the reality of a situation.

     Example: You feel anxious about a presentation, so you conclude, "I must be incompetent," despite evidence of your competence.

12. Fallacy of Change:

     Explanation: Believing that you can change others to suit your needs if you just pressure or coax them enough.

     Example: You think, "If I can just get my partner to change their habits, our relationship will be perfect," ignoring your own contributions to the issues.

13. Global Labeling (Mislabeling):

     Explanation: Labeling yourself or others based on a single event or characteristic.

     Example: You make a mistake at work and think, "I'm such a failure," or you label someone as "useless" after one disagreement.

14. Always Being Right:

     Explanation: Feeling the need to be right and proving others wrong, even at the expense of relationships.

     Example: You insist that your way of doing a task is the only correct way, refusing to consider alternative methods.

15. Projection:

     Explanation: Attributing your own unwanted thoughts, feelings, or impulses to others.

     Example: You're feeling insecure about your abilities at work, so you accuse your coworker of being overly critical and undermining you.

16. Mind Reading:

     Explanation: Assuming you know what others are thinking, often believing they are thinking negatively about you.

     Example: You think, "My boss must think I'm incompetent," without any verbal confirmation.

17. Disqualifying the Positive:

     Explanation: Rejecting positive experiences by insisting they "don’t count" for some reason or another.

     Example: You get a compliment on your work but dismiss it, thinking, "They’re just being nice; it’s not true."

18. Heaven's Reward Fallacy:

     Explanation: Believing that your hard work and sacrifices should always be recognized and rewarded, leading to disappointment when they are not.

     Example: You think, "I've worked so hard; I deserve a promotion," and feel bitter when it doesn't happen.

19. Magnification and Minimization:

     Explanation: Exaggerating the importance of minor mistakes or shrinking the significance of major achievements.

     Example: You magnify a small error, thinking, "This is a disaster," while minimizing your successes by thinking, "Anyone could have done that."

20. Self-Blame:

     Explanation: Consistently taking the blame for things that are not your fault or beyond your control.

     Example: You blame yourself entirely for a failed team project, not recognizing that other factors and team members also contributed to the outcome.

21. Comparison:

     Explanation: Constantly comparing yourself to others, often leading to feelings of inadequacy.

     Example: You feel inferior because you focus on your colleague's achievements while downplaying your own progress.

22. Fallacy of Control:

     Explanation: Believing you can control everything around you or that you have no control at all, leading to feelings of helplessness or frustration.

     Example: You think, "I need to make sure everything goes perfectly," and stress over things you can’t control.

23. The Fallacy of Heaven's Reward:

     Explanation: Expecting that your sacrifices and hard work will always be rewarded, leading to disappointment when they are not.

     Example: You believe that if you work hard, you are guaranteed success and feel resentful when this doesn't happen.

24. Always Having to Be Right:

     Explanation: Insisting on proving that your viewpoint is the only correct one and refusing to consider other perspectives.

     Example: You argue with others because you feel your way is the only way, creating conflict and misunderstanding.

Recognizing these cognitive distortions can help you challenge and change unhelpful thinking patterns, leading to improved mental health and wellbeing. This list is not all inclusive but it give you the ground work for how and why therapy is important and can help.

Do you see any of your proclivities in the list?