Are you my person; how do you know?

The Are you my person... blog is designed for couples to find the best questions to examine the complexities of living, loving and laughing together. These questions are thought provoking to help each of you gain deeper level of appreciation for the life live by your partner, prevents walking on eggshells, and establish healthy boundaries.

Consider the following:

Queens only ask question that Kings can answer;

Refers to the story of King Solomon and the Queen of Sheba. In the story, King Solomon's ability to answer the queen's four questions demonstrated his wisdom and understanding of both male and female nature.

"The unexamined life is not worth living”

Socrates that emphasizes the importance of self-reflection, critical thinking, and self-awareness. Socrates believed that a life without these elements is meaningless and lacks value.

Always kick the tires, check under the engine and do your research. You thought I was talking about a car, lol.

To have and to hold until death do us part

Understanding our love

These questions are designed to provoke deep thought and introspection, helping couples navigate various stages and aspects of their marriage. They foster open communication, mutual understanding, and a deeper connection.

Communication

1. How do we communicate our needs and feelings to each other, and how can we improve this process?

2. In what ways can we ensure active listening and understanding during our conversations, especially during conflicts?

3. How do we handle misunderstandings, and what strategies can we implement to prevent them in the future?

4. How can we create a safe space for open and honest communication in our relationship?

5. What are our non-verbal communication habits, and how do they affect our interactions?

6. How do we express appreciation and gratitude towards each other in our daily lives?

7. How can we improve our communication when discussing sensitive or challenging topics?

Trust and Transparency

8. How do we build and maintain trust in our relationship, and what actions can undermine it?

9. Are there any past experiences that have affected our trust in each other, and how can we heal from them?

10. How can we practice transparency in our daily interactions, and what areas need more openness?

11. How do we handle suspicions or doubts in our relationship, and how can we address them constructively?

12. What boundaries do we need to establish to ensure mutual trust and respect?

13. How can we rebuild trust after it has been broken, and what steps are necessary for forgiveness?

14. How can we support each other in being more open and honest about our feelings and experiences?

Quality Time

15. How do we prioritize quality time together amidst our busy schedules, and what activities do we enjoy doing together?

16. How can we create more meaningful experiences and traditions to strengthen our bond?

17. In what ways can we balance spending time together and pursuing individual interests?

18. How do we ensure that our quality time is free from distractions and interruptions?

19. What new activities or hobbies can we explore together to keep our relationship exciting?

20. How can we make our regular routines feel more special and connected?

21. What are our favorite memories together, and how can we create more of those moments?

Intimacy and Affection

22. How do we express affection and intimacy, and what are our individual needs in this area?

23. How can we keep the spark alive and maintain a healthy physical and emotional connection?

24. What barriers do we face in expressing affection, and how can we overcome them?

25. How do we show affection in ways that are meaningful to each other?

26. How can we incorporate small acts of affection into our daily lives?

27. What role does emotional intimacy play in our relationship, and how can we deepen it?

28. How can we communicate our needs for affection and intimacy more effectively?

    
    

    

    Through the good, bad and otherwise

    
    

Physical Intimacy and Pleasure

29. How do we ensure that our physical intimacy is mutually satisfying, and how can we communicate our desires and boundaries?

30. What can we do to maintain a healthy and fulfilling sexual relationship as we age and our bodies change?

31. How can we explore new ways to enhance our physical connection and pleasure together?

32. How do we address any discomfort or concerns related to physical intimacy?

33. What role does physical touch play in our relationship, and how can we incorporate it more?

34. How can we create a safe and comfortable environment for discussing our sexual needs and preferences?

35. What are our favorite aspects of our physical relationship, and how can we build on them?

Conflict Resolution

36. How do we approach conflicts, and what strategies can we use to resolve them constructively?

37. How can we ensure that our arguments are productive and do not harm our relationship?

38. What patterns do we notice in our conflicts, and how can we change them for the better?

39. How can we manage our emotions and reactions during disagreements?

40. What role does compromise play in our conflict resolution process, and how can we improve it?

41. How can we ensure that we both feel heard and respected during conflicts?

42. How can we learn from past conflicts to prevent similar issues in the future?

Financial Management

43. How do we manage our finances, and what are our individual and shared financial goals?

44. How can we improve our financial communication and ensure transparency in our spending and saving habits?

45. In what ways can we support each other in achieving financial stability and planning for the future?

46. How do we handle financial stress and disagreements about money?

47. What financial priorities do we have, and how can we align them more effectively?

48. How can we create a budget that reflects our values and goals?

49. What financial habits can we develop to support our long-term financial health?

Ruth 1:16-17 Your people will be my people

Family of Origin

50. How do our family backgrounds and experiences shape our relationship and expectations?

51. How can we address any unresolved issues from our families of origin that impact our partnership?

52. What positive aspects from our families of origin can we bring into our relationship?

53. How do our childhood experiences influence our parenting styles and values?

54. What family traditions do we want to continue or create in our own family?

55. How can we support each other in navigating complex family dynamics?

56. How do we handle conflicts that arise from differing family values and expectations?

    
    

In-Laws and Extended Family

57. How do we navigate relationships with our in-laws and extended family while maintaining our own boundaries?

58. What challenges do we face with our in-laws, and how can we address them together?

59. How can we ensure that our relationship remains strong despite outside family influences?

60. How do we balance time with our families and time for ourselves as a couple?

61. What boundaries do we need to set with our extended families to protect our relationship?

62. How can we foster positive relationships with our in-laws?

63. How do we handle situations where our families' expectations differ from our own?

    
    

Asking for What You Need

64. How comfortable are we in asking each other for what we need emotionally, physically, and practically?

65. What can we do to improve our ability to express our needs and desires without fear of judgment or rejection?

66. How can we support each other in fulfilling our individual needs while maintaining a healthy balance in the relationship?

67. How do we respond when our needs are not met, and how can we address this constructively?

68. What strategies can we use to communicate our needs more clearly and effectively?

69. How can we create a supportive environment where asking for what we need feels safe and encouraged?

70. How do we prioritize each other's needs while also taking care of our own?

    
    

    

    Death ends a life, not a relationship

    
    

Death and Grief

71. How do we cope with loss and grief, and how can we support each other through difficult times?

72. What are our wishes and plans for the future in terms of health, illness, and end-of-life decisions?

73. How can we ensure that we honor each other's wishes and support each other in times of sorrow and loss?

74. How do we communicate about our fears and concerns related to death and illness?

75. What strategies can we use to process and heal from grief together?

76. How can we create a legacy or meaningful traditions to remember lost loved ones?

77. How do we handle ongoing grief and support each other in our healing journeys?

    
    

Handling Change

78. How do we handle changes and transitions in our lives, such as job changes, moving, or starting a family?

79. What strategies can we use to adapt to changes while maintaining a strong and supportive relationship?

80. How can we prepare for and navigate future changes together as a team?

81. How do we communicate our feelings and concerns about major life changes?

82. What role does flexibility play in our ability to handle change, and how can we develop it?

83. How can we support each other in making difficult decisions during times of change?

84. How do we celebrate and embrace positive changes and milestones in our relationship?

    
    

Handling Rejection

85. How do we respond to feelings of rejection or hurt within our relationship?

86. What can we do to ensure that we communicate openly about our feelings and work through any issues of rejection?

87. How can we build resilience and support each other in overcoming feelings of rejection?

88. How do we address and heal from past experiences of rejection that affect our relationship? 

    
    

    

    You are enough

    
    

Triggers from the Past

89. How do past experiences and traumas affect our current relationship, and how can we address them together?

90. What strategies can we use to recognize and manage triggers in a healthy and supportive way?

91. How can we create a safe space for each other to heal from past wounds?

    
    

Secrets and Infidelity

92. How do we address issues of secrecy or dishonesty in our relationship, and how can we rebuild trust?

93. What boundaries do we need to set to prevent infidelity, and how can we strengthen our commitment to each other?

94. How can we work through the pain of infidelity or betrayal and move forward together?

Deal Breakers

95. What are our individual deal breakers in the relationship, and how can we communicate these clearly to each other?

96. How can we ensure that we respect each other's boundaries and deal breakers while maintaining a healthy relationship?

97. What steps can we take if we encounter a deal breaker that threatens our relationship?

    
    
    
    

    

    Where do you draw your strength?

    
    

Spirituality and Beliefs

98. How do our spiritual or religious beliefs shape our values and our relationship?

99. How can we support each other's spiritual journeys and incorporate our beliefs into our partnership?

100. What role does spirituality play in our relationship, and how can we grow together in this area?

Political Identity

101. How do our political beliefs impact our relationship, and how can we navigate any differences respectfully?

102. What strategies can we use to discuss political topics without causing tension or conflict?

103. How can we ensure that our political identities do not undermine our connection and love for each other?

Pet Peeves

104. What are our individual pet peeves, and how can we communicate them without causing resentment?

105. How can we address and manage our pet peeves in a way that strengthens our relationship?

106. What can we do to reduce the impact of our pet peeves on our daily interactions?

Past Relationships

107. How have our past relationships influenced our current relationship, and what lessons have we learned?

108. How can we ensure that we don't repeat negative patterns from past relationships in our current partnership?

109. What positive experiences from past relationships can we bring into our current relationship?

Hi Mom.....A firm hand and soft heart, thanks

Relationship with Parents

110. How have our relationships with our parents shaped our views on love and relationships?

111. How can we address any unresolved issues with our parents that might impact our relationship?

112. What positive aspects of our relationships with our parents can we incorporate into our own partnership?

Optional Questions

113. How do we handle secrets, and what boundaries do we need to ensure honesty and trust?

114. What are our strategies for dealing with infidelity or betrayal, and how can we rebuild trust if it occurs?

115. How do we handle death and grief, and how can we support each other through difficult times?

116. How can we better understand and respect each other's political identities, ensuring they do not create division in our relationship?

Reflecting on these questions can help couples critically examine various aspects of their marriage and identify areas for growth and improvement. By maintaining open communication and a willingness to adapt, couples can build a resilient and fulfilling relationship that evolves over the years.